Pulling on Beans, Pushing Buttons, and Playing Ball

How people get interested in their own growth.

This week’s post is for paid subscribers, but if you want to catch me elsewhere, I had the pleasure of being on The Second City’s podcast, Getting to Yes, And, with the amazing Kelly Leonard (Apple, Spotify). We talked about Bowen theory and how family work and improv are connected. I shared my childhood fear of being raptured before Seinfeld ended. So you know, just the basics.

And if you’re in Western New York, I'll be speaking about "Asking Questions in a Quick-Fix Culture" for the Center for Family Systems Theory on Oct 17. Would love to see you there! - K

People come to therapy with varying levels of an anxious focus on others.

Some are entirely fixated on how others need function better. Others claim they want to work on themselves, but it is in order to change the other. And some are ready and able to keep the focus on themselves.

I love a good mnemonic device, so I came up with one to reflect these varying levels of relationship focus—pulling on beans, pushing buttons, and playing ball.