Seeing People as They Are

Not what we wish, fear, or imagine them to be.

“My fear though is that the world is as it always was, and I just didn’t see it.” – Abe Weissman, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

In the midst of the big move, I finally got around to watching the last season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I think the show’s creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino, is a systems thinker. I’ve long been a fan of her work, where characters struggle, fail, and sometimes succeed in being themselves, while staying connected to their families.

In the penultimate episode, Midge’s father, Abe Weissman, delivers what Sherman-Palladino has admitted is the thesis of Mrs. Maisel.  He admits to his colleagues that his daughter is extraordinarily capable, and he’d never really noticed:

“And as unfathomable as this career choice of hers is, she’s doing her on her own. With no help from me, or her mother. Where did this come from? This strength. This fearlessness. That I never had. That my poor son never had. What could she have been if I had helped her and not ignored her, ignored who she really is. My daughter is a remarkable person. And I don’t think I’ve ever said that to her.”

What does it take to get more neutral about who people are? To get to know people as they are—not who we wish, or fear or imagine they are.