Loved this. It's so easy for me to focus all my efforts on the other. It's like I can't handle the thought that I'm responsible for my own feelings. Thanks for your work.
Do you think that we tend to default towards a desire to change others rather than to change ourselves? If so, why do we do this? Trying to change ourselves is always more effective than trying to change others.
I think the default is either trying to change others or changing ourselves to please others. Both are responses to anxiety. Any response that can have a little more "self" in it is useful.
Thank you for outlining this here. Super helpful. Wish I had done more of this in my marriage. For me, too much of ‘doing my own thing’ lead to too much disconnection. I do think it had to if I had been more mindful of some of these tools, I could have fostered our sharing/connection more intentionally. Though Lawd knows I tried!
But it takes two to tango, right?
And it’s a fine balance. I wonder if you’ve written about that?
Thank you for outlining this here. Super helpful. Wish I had done more of this in my marriage, I doubt that too much ‘doing my own thing’ lead to too much disconnection. I do t think it had to if I had been more mindful of some of these tools.
And it’s a fine balance. I wonder if you’ve written about that?
Loved this. It's so easy for me to focus all my efforts on the other. It's like I can't handle the thought that I'm responsible for my own feelings. Thanks for your work.
Thank you, Peter!
Do you think that we tend to default towards a desire to change others rather than to change ourselves? If so, why do we do this? Trying to change ourselves is always more effective than trying to change others.
I think the default is either trying to change others or changing ourselves to please others. Both are responses to anxiety. Any response that can have a little more "self" in it is useful.
Thank you for outlining this here. Super helpful. Wish I had done more of this in my marriage. For me, too much of ‘doing my own thing’ lead to too much disconnection. I do think it had to if I had been more mindful of some of these tools, I could have fostered our sharing/connection more intentionally. Though Lawd knows I tried!
But it takes two to tango, right?
And it’s a fine balance. I wonder if you’ve written about that?
There's a chapter in my next book about it, but I will think about writing more about it in the newsletter. Thanks!
Thank you for outlining this here. Super helpful. Wish I had done more of this in my marriage, I doubt that too much ‘doing my own thing’ lead to too much disconnection. I do t think it had to if I had been more mindful of some of these tools.
And it’s a fine balance. I wonder if you’ve written about that?